Tag Archive | #struggleisreal

Update

So Wednesday we went back to the fertility clinic and basically our reproductive endocrinologist said we need to move on to IVF. Of course my hubby is not too happy. It is an expensive undertaking but we have been trying for so long that I’m just ready to move on and try something else. I thought the appointment was really good because I made my mind up a while ago to do IVF but I’m sure my husband is still upset or hurt that we can’t get pregnant naturally. We have done IUIS with no results. I’m excited and nervous and scared to move on I’m not sure if we are going to move on. My husband assured me that we will be doing IVF but of course I want to do it today he wants to wait. So thanks to everyone who has encouraged us on here I will definitely be updating everyone as time goes on. Please continue to remember us in your thoughts and prayers and good vibes. I know that it’ll happen because my faith tells me that.  Until next time,
Stella Nash

Day 21 results.

Well I am on round 4 of Clomid and I have noticed the last 2 cycles my Day 21 labs are low again like I am not even on Clomid. Anyway with round 2 my Day 21 was a 26 something I believe it is in on of my blogs. And now with Round 4 Day 21 is an 8.73….. WTF? What’s the point of my even taking it? I am completely heartbroken and mad and disappointed.  I wanted two pink lines for Christmas.  This will be year 3 of wishing the same thing for New Years. A baby. A chance at motherhood. 

Aching Heart

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Good Morning all. I saw this photo today and it got me thinking of our journey to try to conceive and all our failed fertility treatments. I would never wish what I feel on anyone. My womb and heart aches so much for a baby. I don’t just want a baby I want to be a mother. I never had one growing up so I’m sure what kind of mother I will be but I’m definitely positive of what kind of mother I won’t be. My mother was in and out of my life and she still is. I haven’t seen or spoken to her in over 3 years. She only cones around when she needs something. I will never forsake my child for anything. Nothing is more important than loving and teaching your child. My friends and my husband really do try to understand but deep down I know and they know they don’t really understand what I am aching for. It breaks my heart that people so undeserving of children have them and here I am with a stable home, stable marriage, and a family that is ready to love a new grand baby and nothing. Guess it’s not my place to figure that out. I know I’m supposed to be learning something from God but I’m ready!! That’s me though I’m sure he will send us a baby in his time. It is his plan. I was just ready like yesterday. Until next time,

Stella Nash

The Struggle is Real.

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For 2 years now me and my husband have been trying to conceive. So far no luck. We have done the natural way and we have done the fertility treatment way. I have prayed many nights for a baby and I know I have many prayer warriors who are still praying. Sometimes though it’s just a struggle. Babies seem to follow me everywhere. I have days where I just want to give up and call everyone and tell them hey just quit sending us your thoughts and prayers because we are done. I know that is just exactly when a miracle happens, when you are about to give up. Yeah I smile on the outside but inside I literally hurt and ache. I wish our baby would come. It even sucks when doctors tell you that you fall in the 5% unexplained infertility. Yay us! Not really yay. If I don’t have a little humor about this then I would likely be on medications and possibly locked away somewhere. I just am having one of those days today that I needed to express some thoughts and feelings.

Until Next Time,

Stella Nash