Mentally Exhausted

I am over trying.  My body obviously hates me.  I swear the next person that tells me to relax and it will happen  I will Miss Piggy karate chop. I am trying to keep hope and faith that we will become pregnant but what if we don’t?  All that time wasted we could have been pursuing other options.  3 years of treatments 6 years total of trying and nothing.  I hate pregnancy announcements.  I really don’t have hate in my heart it just bothers me.  Clomid hates me.  IUI hates me.  What did I do to deserve this? 

Stella Nash


Day 21 results.

Well I am on round 4 of Clomid and I have noticed the last 2 cycles my Day 21 labs are low again like I am not even on Clomid. Anyway with round 2 my Day 21 was a 26 something I believe it is in on of my blogs. And now with Round 4 Day 21 is an 8.73….. WTF? What’s the point of my even taking it? I am completely heartbroken and mad and disappointed.  I wanted two pink lines for Christmas.  This will be year 3 of wishing the same thing for New Years. A baby. A chance at motherhood. 

Round 4

Sorry I have been gone for a minute. I just was tired of posting bad news. And I still am not pregnant. So we started round 4 of Clomid and they bumped me up to 50 mg. I was only taking 25 mg. Anyway hope everyone had an amazing Thanksgiving. Here comes Christmas as an unpregnant mom to be.

Round 3 of Clomid Hell

Well started round 3 yesterday. Geez I’m already over this. My husband got good and bad news today. Good news his sperm is moving good. Bad news quantity. He is starting Clomid as well. But then we had this conversation that turned into a complete disagreement. We are seeing a new fertility doctor Friday. He said now we can’t afford IVF. I said no one has that kind of money. I feel like he is giving up and now he doesn’t want this as much as me. I hope and pray that this gets better and he will get back on board. I hope he is just scared and unsure. I am scared as well but we need to be a team not fighting separate battles. Until next time,

Stella Nash

2WW wait

Still waiting….. I’m so frustrated and sad. No sign of Aunt Flow and no signs of anything. (Insert screaming here) Geez I just want a chance to be a mother. How hard is it????? Until next time,

Stella Nash

2WW from Hell

Hey all. Sorry I’ve been low I’ve been working and just trying not to think about my 2WW. Well I’m just waiting again to see if we are pregnant. It sucks I hate waiting. I feel like everything going on is a sign of early pregnancy. I hope round 2 works I don’t know what we will do if we go all 6 rounds and nothing. I’m trying to be hopeful and not lose my faith but sometimes you just can’t help it. I look at all these people leaving their babies in hot cars and I’m like Hello!!!! I’m ready and wouldn’t forget I have a baby. It just is crazy to me. If you can’t remember you have a baby then you don’t deserve to be a parent. My opinion. Well until next time,

Stella Nash

Clomid take 2

Well I have been a little quite lately. Round 2 of Clomid has begun. No side effects that I can tell. I am just keeping everything crossed. I’m hoping I get my BFP!! I have two more days of medicine and then the fun part begins! I am almost at the end of the rope. I know God doesn’t give us more than we can handle and I’m sure this is a faith builder. His timing will be perfect but I can’t help but to lose hope sometimes. I will keep everyone updated. Until next time,

Stella Nash