adoption, babies, infertility, marriage, struggle, ttc, Uncategorized


Well I think it is has been too long since I have written.  Since my last entry there has no been no new news. Not pregnant, didn’t get pregnant, NOTHING. I had this bright idea to start writing a book about my infertile journey. Who will read that? It was semi therapeutic. I guess that is why I found myself back to my blog. I don’t want this journey any more to be negative and all down in the dumps. Even though we all know there are days when everything sucks. I swear I want to have as much fun with life as I can and live. I feel like I have gotten used to oh not pregnant so much I forget to live. My husband and I are both in school and my nursing program hasn’t even started yet but they told me pregnancy during the program will not work. So guess we will look back into children in 2019. Yup you read that right. 2019. My husband is so excited. At least in my mind I feel like he is celebrating. We haven’t had sex since February anyway. People always say well you’ve got to spice it up. It doesn’t matter what I do or what I say HE ISNT INTO SEX. Sex for pleasure or baby making I am on my own here. He wants a blood relationship so there goes the idea of adoption. My life has been a freaking mess. You haven’t missed much except a few agreements over when to have kids. I will be 34 and he will 44 in 2019. I know that is still “young” but seriously I wish you can feel my frustration. I know there will come a time when he says sorry I don’t want to have kids. I think he is there and won’t say anything. Those that know me having being a mother is NO SURPRISE. I asked him on the first date. YES! He was on board. It’s been 9 years of nothing. Fertility treatment after the next nothing works. IVF is the next step he won’t step out with me. I am completely at a loss for words. Anyway this is my rant for the evening getting you caught back up in my life.  Until next time

Stella Nash

adoption, infertility, struggle, ttc

Just Relax…. What a Joke


Good morning all!!! I’m in that mood this morning. I have heard these two words over and over again. I’ve even been told by complete strangers. A couple I met on Friday to be exact. Guess I need to inform y’all I work at an on/gyn office so I’m around pregnant ladies all day. Anyway Friday I met a couple and we were talking about their new pregnancy! And I was congratulating them and she asked if I had children. Of course I replied with a smile and said not yet working on it. Hoping to leave it at that. She asked well why? Oh lord my throat felt like it was closing and my tears started welling up. I said God just hasn’t blessed us yet. Trying to leave the room she said we tried for 2 years and my advice just book a trip to Brazil and get a new car payment that’s what we did and found out we were pregnant! ……. So there you have it friends who are struggling we have been doing it wrong this whole time! Just go our and buy a new car and book a trip and a genie will get us pregnant. People are stupid sometimes. I think people mean well and they try to help us they just don’t know how. Until next time,

Stella Nash