Archives

Rainy Days Make for Sad Days

So its rained the last 4 days here and I enjoy a good rain as I feel it cleanses the air and myself but 4 days…..I’m now off work today and depressed. I’m just reflecting on everything and damn it now I’m depressed and just sad. Today is my husband and my dads birthday. I lost my dad 4 years ago to a bee sting. Yeah a bee sting. I hate bees. Any kind. My dad was my rock and kept me going. He would be the big 50 today! Hard to believe he’s gone. And then my husband turned the big 40 today. God is he depressed. I feel bad because I’m trying to make it a good birthday despite the rain and his feelings. But so far he’s at work and feeling blue. He’s healthy and has friends and family that love him dearly and I just don’t know how to make him cheerful! Here’s to hoping everyone has a good July 4th weekend and safe holiday. While I’m over here trying to get my emotions and feelings in order!! Until next time,

Stella Nash

Advertisements

Friendship Over

Good Morning all. So a couple of years ago I met a girl who was going through the same thing we were with our fertility. So we bonded instantly. Well naturally I should say for the record when I’m a friend I’m a friend who is loyal and I’m there for everything. The past 6 months I felt in my gut our friendship had completely changed. I felt she was only asking me if I was pregnant yet and how many times a week we have sex. I felt all of a sudden she was racing me to get pregnant. Makes no sense to me because to me its not a race. If she got pregnant first I’d be so happy! That’s my friend and she is having a baby right? Anyway the other day she text me and said that they were doing IVF. Which me and my husband have talked and we will probably do that but we want to also look into adoption. When I told her our plans to look into adoption  she told me don’t do it. I was taken back by this because we want a baby no matter if we conceive or if God sends us a birth mother. We are open to adoption and I was shocked that my friend who has been dealing with the same thing as me told me the most ignorant thing I’ve ever heard. Out of all the people I thought she would understand the most. So she ended our friendship because I’m talking adoption. There was no real friendship anyway. I just couldn’t believe that I lost the one person I thought could understand my emotional days, my frustrations, everything. I wish her the best even after hurting me. Until next time,

Stella Nash

Cutting The Rope.

image

In 1 month I will be turning 30. A lot of people have been upset to turn this BIG age. Why? I’m actually excited! I actually feel like a grown up. I’m also taking a long look at people I have met in my twenties and cutting them out if they are negative and poisoning the water hole. I have no time to play high school games at 30. High school was over for me 11 years ago. Why play games with others still? Is it a female thing? Are females that insecure? Are females trying to be the dominant friend? I can’t anymore. I was made fun of and judged as a kid and I probably still am. I’ve decided to put myself in that persons shoes and try my best to stop prejudging. I’d rather have 3 best friends I know that I can count on then 25 “friends” who know nothing about me. So bring it on 30!! I welcome you with open arms!! Until next time,

Stella Nash